or what you’ve been led to believe
Reclaim your wholeness in a world that profits on self doubt
Have you ever had that quiet whisper in the back of your mind telling you that you’re not quite enough?
Not successful enough. Not polished enough. Not thin enough. Not fit enough. Not knowledgeable enough. Not talented enough. Not there yet.
You’re not alone. I believe we’ve all had that moment of self doubt and here’s what I want you to know from the very start: that voice didn’t come from you. It was most likely handed to you. By words that were spoken to you, or around you, that you came to believe.
When a baby is born, we gaze in awe and admiration of the perfection of this new tiny human. Perfect in every way. What changed?
From a tender young age, in a moment where you were told you couldn’t do, or have or were punished for something; didn’t win a particular award, or you looked a certain way, were compared to someone else, or your efforts simply were not up to scratch, all quietly settled into a belief that took root: I need to be better. I need to change. I need to fix myself. I need to be something else. There must be something wrong with me. I’m not good enough.
As we’ve grown up, the world has been more than happy to agree with us.
The marketplace of not-enoughness
We live in a world that is extraordinarily skilled at making us feel like we are lacking. The message is that we are all broken and need fixing. Not just from childhood, but in every advertisement, product pitch and every “solution” being sold to us daily. People making profit from a belief.
We are not made to feel good about how we look. As women, we are told constantly that our changing bodies need to be corrected. Wrinkles, bumps, sags must be smoothed. Lips, breasts, face, buttocks need to be fuller. Bodies must be reshaped. Appearances polished.
The beauty industry doesn’t sell us products. It sells us the belief that we are not acceptable as we are, and then offers us the “solution.” And we buy it, not because we are vain, but because we have been conditioned to believe that something about us needs fixing.
We have an entire wellness industry built on the same foundation. Pills, potions & powders, diet trends & tests, treatments, red light therapy masks & machines. Devices tracking our every step – guilt, judgement and shame if we don’t reach 10000 steps or a certain amount of calories a day; tracking our sleep & cycle…Endless gadgets, tools and programmes promising to optimise us, biohack us, fix us. All of it quietly whispering: “you are not quite right as you are”
It doesn’t stop with products and advertising. Sometimes the message that we are broken comes from the very people we turn to for help. When we feel something is out of balance in our body. When we have that deep inner knowing that something is off, we can find ourselves dismissed by the very medical professionals or practitioners we trusted to listen. This is an unfortunate and common event with many women in their seasonal changes – menstruation, pregnancy, perimenopause/menopause.
Being told “your tests are normal” or “it’s all in your head” when deep down you ‘feel’ a certain way, carries its own quiet damage. The phrase “it’s in your head” is a message that something is wrong with you. That your own body’s signals are not valid. The wound deepens. Now you are not only not enough, but you cannot even trust yourself to know what you feel.
It shows up in the job/career/business market space too. You apply for a role, you give it everything you have, and you don’t get it. Instead of the thought process being around timing, or what’s in your best interest, your mind immediately goes there: “I wasn’t good enough”.
Social media is one of the biggest and successful ways of killing our self worth and feeling good about ourselves. It’s also one of the best ways of promoting your business, products and services right? To the consumer, it’s all about visuals? For us: Do I have the right lighting? Camera? Equipment? Location? Environment? Angle? Sound? If you don’t have these ‘things’, working on older models, well, what does that say about you? This is how subtle it is. A piece of technology becomes a measure of your worth and your readiness to show up in the world and when you show up, it has to be a certain way.
What if nothing needs fixing?
I want to offer you some truth today. You are not a project. You are not a problem waiting to be solved. You are not what you think you are.
You are not your role in your job, career or business, or life (mother, daughter, sister, aunt, granny, CEO, administrator, coach, mentor). You do these things. They label you in what you do. What you might say to others when they ask… Who are You?
You are already good enough. You are already divine, exactly as you are, exactly where you are meant to be. At this moment. In this body you have. In this life you are living. The person that woke up this morning.
It’s not pretending that life is perfect and flowers and rainbows all the time, or that personal growth and development isn’t beautiful or challenging.
It is about coming into acceptance of what is. Having a deep, genuine recognition that we do not need to earn our worth, our beauty or who we really are.
“The moment we stop looking outside of ourselves for proof that we are enough, we realise we always were.”
A gentle invitation
The next time you feel the urge to buy something, fix something, change something, I invite you to pause and be quiet for a moment. Ask yourself “where is this feeling coming from? Is this genuinely my desire and will it serve me in the best possible way, or am I responding to a message that I am not enough?”
Awareness is the first act of freedom. You cannot unsee the conditioning once you begin to notice it. And in that noticing, you start to understand yourself in a whole new way. It’s an ongoing process, believe me 
You are not broken, not behind. You are not less-than. You are a divine being having a human experience, and everything you need is already within you. It’s a path of trusting and changing that old belief pattern.
And if you are ready to break free from the cycle of feeling like you constantly need fixing, I am here to support you on that journey.
With love
Cathy